In this episode of Brianna Commits Suicide By Oil, we examine Nutella-and-chunky-peanut-butter wantons and bacon-wrapped dill pickles.
I started with the wantons. This was my mom’s idea. In case you didn’t know, and you probably didn’t, my mom is a freaking culinary genius. I am pretty sure I’ve had boyfriends who stuck around only because of my mom’s cooking. Anyway. Keeping in mind Dara’s harrowing experience with deep-frying peanut butter, I picked up some wanton wrappers. For the record, I do feel like this was cheating a bit, but I’m over it already.
Step 1: Open Nutella. Remind Nutella that Nutella is not as good as chunky peanut butter and never will be.
Step 2: Spoon Nutella into wanton wrapper. Then spoon equal amount of chunky peanut butter into wanton wrapper.
Step 3: Wet edges of wanton wrappers and pinch closed.
*Note: Make sure you get all the extra air out of the wanton. In my first batch, I didn’t do this, and when they were frying, the air inside made them float and fry unevenly.
Steps 4, 5, 6: Fry until golden brown (two-four minutes at 325°F). Remove. Enjoy.
These were fucking awesome; little Asian Reese’s cups. A++ would do business with again.
Next up was the bacon-wrapped dill pickles. I had been rolling this idea around since before the birth of NaDeNeFoMo so I was pretty excited about it. Bacon! Pickles! Surely this marriage of two classy motherfuckers could not be anything but amazing.
I used dill gherkins. Wrap in bacon, secure bacon with toothpick. Deep-fry until bacon looks cooked. (This took about eight minutes at 325°F but that’s an approximation. I was too busy concentrating on not starting grease fires to pay attention to specifics.)
If you can get past the appearance of these, which is that of an uncircumcised, mangled, and gangrenous cock, I do highly recommend. They are everything I hoped they’d be AND MORE. I do plan on serving these at all my future white-trash get-togethers.
These weren’t really unhealthy NaDeNeFoMo projects. In a few days I’m taking on a multitude of baked goods and candies, and plan on eating nothing but salad from now until then.