I invented these things for Norcross because biscuits-n-gravy is his favorite breakfast ever and I wanted to see if I could make them even better (in his eyes). Also invented as a way to speed up my access to his life insurance policy because, spoiler alert, THESE ARE NOT HEALTHY AT ALL.
Dough + lard/flour + hot oil = heart palpitations, and not the good post-carnal-passions kind.
YOU WILL NEED:
-probably a full hour of time from start/finish for these bad boys. good news is you can totally pre-make the dough/gravy and refrigerate until it’s fry time if a full hour is something you do not have.
-a deep fryer– one of those small daddies will do– it doesn’t even need to have a basket
-a pair of tongs for tending to the balls in the basket (HEH HEH HEH)
-a pastry brush
-why don’t you read through and see what else. you will probably need a bowl but I feel like that’s a given as you likely don’t mix shit together on your floor.
(makes approx. 16 DFBNGB)
2 cups all purpose flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup shortening
3/4 cup milk
a few shakes of black pepper (optional)
Below is the stuff from this gravy recipe right here. This is not my recipe but it’s the one I use. I will re-write it but dudes, it’s not mine, I’m not tryna get sued.
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
4 cups milk
You’ll also need a stick of butter, that’s for later, just stare at it longingly for now.
(This part makes the biscuits, yo.)
Mix the dry ingredients together, then cut in the shortening using a pastry blender until your mix looks like a bowl of crumbs. Then make a hole in the middle of the mixture in the bowl, and add in the milk. Stir just until moistened. Dough should be sticky. Then sprinkle some flour on your countertop (or floor, I am not here to judge) and knead the dough with floured hands for about a minute.
(This part makes the gravy, posted originally here.)
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Whisk in the flour, salt and pepper until smooth. Cook and stir over medium heat until browned, about 10 minutes. Gradually stir in milk so that no lumps form, and continue cooking and stirring until thickened. If the gravy becomes too thick, you may thin it with a little more milk.
Bri-tip, guys: Thick gravy is okay. The heat from the frying step will thin it out anyway and gravy that’s too thin is going to make the ball-creation step hard for you. Also, kick your gravy up a notch by adding some bacon or sausage chunks. If you’re lazy (like me, let’s be real) you can buy either of those in a bag pre-cooked and pre-chunked so you just toss it into the gravy you already made. Nine out of ten Norcrosses agree that this little addition will take your DFBNGB from “yeah” to “HELL YEAH.”
Pre-heat your oil to 275º. I know that seems kind of low but trust me, I’ve experimented with different temps and they need to cook through, not flash fry, so this temp has worked well.
While that’s heating up you’re going to create the BNG balls. Take a lump of dough about 1″ diameter and mash into a flat circle. I do this on a baking sheet, but whatever, go rogue if you want. Cup the dough circle in the palm of your hand and use your other hand to spoon about a half teaspoon of gravy into the dough circle. Quickly put the spoon down and pinch the dough ball closed around the gravy, creating a ball with gravy in the middle. Don’t get sad, this takes a fair amount of practice and finesse and I have flung many a leaking gravy ball at the wall.
Now it’s fry time. Melt that stick of butter we set aside earlier and brush the melted butter onto the BNG balls right before you (GENTLY, YOU DON’T WANT SPLASHBACK BURNS, NEWB) drop them into the oil.
Once they’re in the oil, you’re going to want to gently poke them around so they fry evenly. If you just leave them floating you’ll have a toasted bottom and a doughy top; gross.
When they’re a deep golden-brown all over, they’re done. (About five whole minutes of fry time.) Take them out and put on a paper-toweled plate so they can de-grease for a second. Plus they are hot as HELL so let them cool. You can use any leftover gravy as a dipping sauce, too.
THERE. THAT’S IT. GO FORTH AND SOLIDIFY YOUR ARTERIES!
But wait, I have a confession: There is a cheater way to make these. I’ve done it, I’M NOT PROUD BUT I’VE DONE IT, and they turned out fine. 1.) Buy sausage country gravy in a jar. 2.) Buy biscuits in a can. 3.) Assemble as noted above and fry.