the web home of professional Unnecessary Caps-locker, Brianna Bond. y'all done been warned.


bri-faceMy name is Bri, and I don’t want to define myself completely by saying “I’m a 34 year-old mom”– Although I am both of those things I am also so! much! more! For example, I am silly, bitchy, into horrible paranormal television, always cracking lame jokes, and ready to rock you like a hurricane.

I like red meat and candy. I have a love affair with fast cars and the outdoors. I come from a giant family of sarcastic people. If I’m not making fun of you, it means I don’t like you. But I may also dislike if I am making fun of you. Sorry. I’m a mystery.

I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona but now live in Tampa, Florida. I work as a virtual CFO because I don’t believe I should have to wear pants to get a paycheck. If that doesn’t work out my back-up plan is to be a bounty hunter. You will find me terrorizing the internet in smaller doses on Twitter.

You may read about my kids here from time to time. My son TJ is thirteen, and enjoys being a smart-ass, eating, and working on his YouTube empire. Maya, future princess assassin, is nine. She is a fan of mermaids, motorcycle boots, and popcorn. We are a motley crew, but it works for us.

You can contact me at sarcasmically [at] gmail [dot] com. Do not email me to tell me that “sarcasmically” is not a real word. I know and I’m sorry that you have no imagination.