bunk rib redeems itself by being super fun to party with

November 23, 2010

So I’ve got a bunk rib.  I know you’re probably wondering how a rib can even be bunk, seeing as it is a jointless bone that serves but two purposes–  protect the lungs, and be very ticklish.  Well, let me tell you how a rib can be bunk:  It contemplates puncturing a lung every time [...]

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i’m pretty sure that is how MJ’s legal troubles began, but that’s neither here nor there

November 22, 2010

Taylor was feeling morbid on Saturday.  That might have been because Maya brought a nasty stomach bug home from daycare on Friday afternoon and by 9pm we had all perfected the art of the technicolor yawn, choreographing our hurling in such a way that five people alternated between three toilets without missing the bowl even [...]

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you’re fucking your life wrong

November 16, 2010

There aren’t many things people can say that will tweak my nerves, but the over-used “FML” (Fuck My Life) is one of them.  Because I spend an inordinate amount of time on Twitter, I constantly see “FML” being used to punctuate heart-breaking dilemmas like this one or this one or this one.  You poor dears; [...]

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the fearogod look

November 16, 2010

This morning I shuffled downstairs where the kids were already running around like Chihuahuas on crack.  This is one of the best parts of having two kids– They wake up and play together/beat each other up.  Pre-Maya, Taylor would come into my room at ungodly hours and hover over my face until his stank morning breath drove me out of bed.  Now that he has someone [...]

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NaDeNeFoMo: the failsauce edition

November 15, 2010

Oh lordy you guys.  Friday’s deep-frying adventure was no bueno.  I mean, it started out fine.  There’s nothing wrong with this, right? You’re goddamn right there’s nothing wrong with that plate of bountiful goodness.  From left to right we have:  Snickers, tiramisu, cupcakes, a slice of cheesecake, and oatmeal creme pies.  For the record, I [...]

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